Healing Is In Your Hands

Hey followers (if I have any..)! Ok, so towards the end of my last post I wrote that I would be going to the doctor for yet ANOTHER x-ray and check up from my previous appointment. Well, I figured I'd use this post to fill you all in on what went down at the doctor (since, everyone and their mama always assumes I'm pregnant.. um, no). When I went to see my doctor and she x-rayed me, she informed me that my illness had regressed to back to how we were in April. So, for all of you non-medical people, I'm going to try to spare the gory details as I explain what is going on. I'm also going to be very general, as there are some things I'd rather not mention. However, I'm going to give a few details so I'm not having to explain to a million different people.


To make my story short and sweet, here we go..


I went to the doctor (leaving her name out for privacy reasons) in April (right before my finals in Semester 3) to have a small, slightly irritating problem checked out. Well, to best understand what was causing my pain, my doctor felt that it would be best if she had an x-ray of my stomach/chest made. Upon reviewing the x-ray, she found out that I may have what appears to be some intestinal problems (umm, ok?). I was slightly shocked, but as she managed to explain what she believed was going on, everything started to make sense. Well, since she was not 100% sure, she wanted to start me on a treatment and have me come back in (I believe) two weeks. Well, as I returned to my doctor for a follow-up, she performed another x-ray. The x-ray showed improvement. Although it had not improved like she expected, we were still thankful for improvement. She placed me on another treatment plan and wanted to see me back in about six weeks. Well, this brings us up to last week when I returned for a check up. Another x-ray was made (same song, different tune..). When she came into my examination room after reviewing the x-ray, she told me what I did not want to hear. We were back at square one. My intestines had not taken to the treatment and had regressed back to how they were in April. So, we talked for awhile about the past treatments and my childhood (trying to get clues for a diagnosis). Although she still has not given me a set diagnosis, she does know that I have a problem with the musculature of my intestines (yes, all of them.. small, large, etc..). So, here we go again. I get placed on a different, more aggressive treatment and I'm told to come back for yet another x-ray in about two weeks. No big, I'm used to this by now. However, when you are sent home with five different medications to take, it is not comforting. I got so sick the day of my appointment (last Thursday) and, fortunately, my sweet sister was at our apartment and was able to help take care of me.. not to mention, we had the youth group coming over that night and I was NOT canceling on them. So, I sucked it up. The next day (Friday), still not feeling great (obviously.. my liver is in like overdrive trying to metabolize all of the medications). Friday night, nausea began to kick in. So, I spent the next day (Saturday) at home since I had been feeling so ill the previous days. And, it's a good thing that I did. I was so nauseated Saturday night that I was in tears. Not to mention, one of my medications causes "tightening of the chest" as a side effect. Um, kind of scary when you want to throw up but feel like you can't breathe. Once the nausea passed, I went to slept. Sunday and Monday went by a little more smoothly. My body is beginning to adjust to the medications and I'm able to be myself a little more easily. So, that's the main part of my story.. we will pray and see how my check up goes.


However.. there is another side to this story regarding one of my medications (if you're still reading this, you're a trooper). This side of the story may, in fact, worry me more than the illness itself.


The main medication I am taking in order to try to work with my intestines is a prescription medication and it is VERY, VERY costly. Also, there is no cure for what I supposedly have, only treatments. This means that in order for my intestines to function properly, I will need medications to TREAT, not cure, it. Sucks, I know. But very thankful for treatments. Here's the scary part.. when my doctor prescribed me this particular medicine, she questions "Y'all aren't planning on getting pregnant anytime soon, are you?" Well, everyone knows that answer. No. She then proceeds to tell me that this medication, while it will treat my illness, can cause fetal death in the event of a pregnancy. This scares me for two reasons. Number one, unexpected pregnancies do, in fact, happen. And while we are not trying to have a baby, the though of an unexpected pregnancy and the result of fetal death breaks my heart. Number two, when we DO want children of my own, we will then have to make the decision regarding what to do with my medication and how to treat my illness without harming a baby. Hopefully we do not have to worry about these issues (for awhile, at least), but the thought is still scary, and it runs rampant through my mind often.






However, I know that HEALING can, indeed, come from our Father's hands.


God Bless,