"The testing of your faith produces endurance.." James 1:3

It's me again.. and heed my warning: this post will not be nearly as "cheery" as most of mine are. I'm fixing to give you a passage that pretty much sums up everything that has happened in the past 72 hours for me.


"Consider it a sheer gift, friends, when tests and challenges come at you from all sides. You know that under pressure, your faith-life is forced into the open and shows its true colors. So don't try to get out of anything prematurely. Let it do its work so you become mature and well-developed, not deficient in any way."
-James 1:2-4 (MSG)


Ok, I want to get something straight before I dive into this post. Yes, I said it will not be as cheerful as most of my post, but I am NOT in any way trying to complain. So, here goes...

Let me start by telling you that I made ONE New Year's resolution commitment: 
Trust God more.

Most of you know I just graduated with my BSN. Also, I'm guessing the majority of you view nursing like most of society does-- "recession proof." Well, I hate to bust your bubble, but that's far from the truth. In fact, I'm indirectly suffering some of the results of this recession as we speak. I say indirectly because I do not have a job, so I did not have a job to lose. However, the job I was 90% sure I would have is about 90% not going to happen now. If you read or watch the news, you have probably heard about University laying off 115 employees and deciding NOT to fill the 90 vacant positions. Well, the position I thought I would have happened to be one of those 90 vacant positions. The only positions UMC will be filling (as told from an inside employee) are those positions "deemed necessary" and, sadly, graduate nurses are not a necessity right now. So now I am back at square one with my job hunt. (Let me throw this in here and say that I am SO unbelievably thankful for my precious husband and his willingness to walk alongside me and endure this hardship with me-- he rocks!). 


Like I said, I am in no way complaining (anymore), but I have been very upset. I know several of my followers/readers can relate to what I am about to say. It absolutely, indefinitely, 100% SUCKS when you truly BELIEVE you knew what God wanted you to do with your life. Especially after He had changed your heart on several different occasions to lead you to what you thought you were meant to do. Now hear me out, I am not saying I think God doesn't want me where I thought I would be.. I just think maybe He is saying "Not now." After all, He knows best!


Through these past 72 hours and having had (what feels like) doors literally slammed shut in my face, my character and faith has certainly been (and is being) tested daily. This is the very reason I am not letting myself get upset or worked up about this situation. I am determined to use it as a growing experience and be a testimony to all God is capable of doing. It is very hard when God tells us "no" or "maybe later", but that doesn't mean it is bad. In fact, it can be just the opposite. It is all too easy for us to give God praise and adoration when things are going GREAT.. it's when things get tough that we tend to forget all He is capable of and lose sight of our faith. We have GOT TO realize (especially in times of despair) that God's plan is not only bigger than ours-- it is PERFECT.


You know they say "don't pray for patience, because you'll be tested." Well, maybe I shouldn't have said I was going to learn to trust God more (KIDDING!). But seriously, I feel like I have grown more spiritually in the past three days than I have in the past three years. I think these circumstances are just one of God's ways (and hopefully the hardest, ha!) to help me fulfill my New Year's commitment to Him.


I know God will lead me to the perfect job He has set aside for me. I know that at the end of this, I will see the beauty in it. I know that God is sovereign and knows what's best for me, even when I don't think it's the best. I know God is FOR me and NOT AGAINST me. Lastly, I know God takes care of His children.. and I am thankful to be able to call myself a child of the King.

How can you pray?

Please pray that God sends me the RIGHT job He has for me in His timing. 

Pray that my faith continues to grow and my trust continues to strengthen.

Pray for the sanity of my husband as he puts up with my emotional rollercoaster.

Pray for my fellow classmates that have also been affected by this unfortunate event.. and pray they seek God throughout this time as well.

Love you guys!
-Cait